just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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