I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Randomize
