Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
