you win again, gameday.
he was CRYING into my vagina
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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