drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize