Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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