he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Randomize
