Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
