sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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