If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
