i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize