I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
