This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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