fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
