it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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