He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
