New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
