I'm really into asian looking animals
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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