His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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