I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
