SEEEEXXX PLEASE
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
