Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
