it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I did not marry a roomba.
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