Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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