Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I wish i was in the wii world.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
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The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize