Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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