There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
