Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
You're earring is so big in my mouth
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
