Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize