i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize