I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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