I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
