he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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