I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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