Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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