Got a toothbrush?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize