oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
