a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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