is your mom at the bar?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
