we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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