Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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