so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize