I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
