The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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