Three words: puerto rican gang bang
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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