oh god the rape fog is back!
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
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