4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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