Plan B is the new Plan A
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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