your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
