She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize