And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
