your parents love me but you hate me
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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