I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
