I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
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I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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