i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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