No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Let's paint friendship bongs
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
My vagina is officially offended.
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