How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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