I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
