im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
