Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
