how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
