i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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